PROUD of my broken heart since thou didst break it,
Proud of the pain I did not feel till thee,
Proud of my night since thou with moons dost slake it,
Not to partake thy passion, my humility.
-- Emily Dickinson
my heart bursts with passion for my husband, what he loved. i long for others to find community, to find healing, to love and live fully. i wonder if he truly fulfilled his mission? can i adequately carry on his legacy? why have i experienced the things that i have?
what will i do to create an income for me and my kids so that i don't have to work for the establishment or place my kids in to it? with whom will i connect who have similar passions and desires? how will effect change for the better of the world around me? there are things i am certain of that God has directed our family toward, but now what?
my mind is so full of questions today, things i wish i would have done differently, and things i might make better for the future. phew. too much. but i did this before Life After. now there's just more... and different.
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