a funny...

McKenna: "Dad was pretty lucky to have you."

Me: "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

McKenna: "You know how to spell."

it approaches...

September 9th looms in the distance. like a series of clouds full of lightning and storm, so are these next few days before the anniversary of your death. i play like a movie in my head the moments, minutes, conversations, looks, fears, hugs, kisses, laughs, tears. the moment i heard the news you were dead... all of it.

today in church, 2 songs were sung for worship -- "hungry" and "breathe" -- that i listened to constantly during those tough times we had. why today? those songs are ancient history in the timeline of worship in the church. so, why? **sigh**

if you are reading this -- please, please, please remember us all in your prayers. Brian's parents and siblings are struggling. the kids and I are struggling. pray that our great God sends down his Holy Spirit like a flood, that all of us would be unable to deny His presence and existence, along with the assurance that Brian is in heaven resting in the arms of Jesus, communing with the saints.

my heart is hurting. my mind is mush. it is completely and unbelievably overwhelming to think that in a few days i will have been a widow for one year.

please pray.