Wednesday, November 24, 2010

giving thanks for you, dear reader...

my dear friend that i have known for many years, who is a sister in the Lord, sent me this email today. as i read it, it so expresses the feelings in my heart to all the friends and family who have journeyed with me through the years and especially this past one. this will be our second thanksgiving without Brian and the first without my father; i miss them greatly, but am at peace knowing that they are feasting at the greatest banquet table with the King of Kings. i am sure that surrounding the table are many of the ones Brian & Dad admired [family and those familiar only through books or philosphies] who had entered eternity years, decades or centuries before him. i am sure they have met loved ones of those who have become my dear friends because of their deaths. i am sure that around this banquet table laughter fills the air as well as the aromas of the best Food ever tasted and the sweet words of the Lord blessing everyone's socks off! [that one made me chuckle...] and most surely the banner of love that covers us here on earth is waving proudly above them all.

so, dear friends, take comfort in this vision, for if we trust in Christ and accept all he did for us, we too will be able to partake in such a festive occasion for all eternity. also, read on and take these words of my dear friend as my own, speaking directly to you.

"Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:16-18

On the eve of my favorite holiday of the year, I want to express my thankfulness for you. In a year of major transition, to say the least, my heart is overflowing with a joy that comes only from the Lord. He is molding in me a heart to understand His love and purposes in ways that I did not know before. He has opened my eyes to so many things that before this year I could not fully see. And, He has reminded me time and time again that in this life here on earth- there should not be a single day that I don't stop, sit very still in His presence and reflect on the bounty of blessings He's poured out.

So, as I reflect on those blessings, I am reminded of YOU and all that you mean to me. In hopes of not sounding too cheesy, or like a greeting card- I hope you know both in my word, and in my actions how much my heart is truly thankful for you.

May this holiday season be one of a rising hope of encouragement in your heart as you too reflect on the goodness and greatness of our God who can be fully trusted even in suffering. Eternity with Him along with those beautiful Saints that have gone before us is ours...coming sooner than we know- May we keep our eyes on that glorious future and while still here, make the most of everyday that the Lord gives.

may you have a joyful and blessed thanksgiving, giving thanks for the greatest Gift of all -- Jesus.

only because HE is able--


Tuesday, November 23, 2010


ian, speaking about his favorite star wars character: "my favorite starbuck is toyota."

Saturday, November 6, 2010


so after my last post i just found this video.


Friday, November 5, 2010

miracle worker

went to see miracle worker at APU last night with K & J for J's birthday. what a fantastic production.... outstanding performances. i had never read anything about helen keller or anne sullivan, just heard about it. i am sure this is a travesty to my fellow English teaching mates but... i am sure there are things that they haven't read either. anyway, i was amazed by the performances... so good. i cried many times throughout the play. some of the family's struggles are my struggles. i can relate.

i've been remembering B lately when we ministered together. some of the Farm folks headed up to the monastery in valyermo. had no idea about it so looked it up on the net. poking around the website, i came across the Lectio Divina tab. reading it, my heart began to long for the days of sitting around with friends, reading scripture and sharing our personal insights given to us by the Holy Spirit. days in pomona and venice of “Listen…attend with the ear of your heart” in regards to scripture.

the other day, i had a meeting at work and K suggested i read Isaiah 58. i looked it up via the internet on my phone instead of using my Bible because it was late at night and the boy was sleeping. talk about going in a back door and being caught unaware. had i read it in my Bible, i would have recognized it right away, but i think God wanted me to read it instead of running away... in B's last weeks, i read this scripture to him over and over and over again. my heart is torn, broken. O DEAR GOD, WHY COULDN'T YOU, IN YOUR MERCY AND DIVINE POWER, HAVE SAVED HIM AND PROVOKED OBEDIENCE WITHIN HIM? i realize his death was likely a merciful 'saving' act, but i want HIM back and what was before the end! but since i can't have him back or what was before the end, fill my heart up with your love and peace and restore me! show me where you want me. give me the strength to look ahead, though all i see is... little or nothing at all. help me to acknowledge you in EVERY moment of EVERY day. give me peace. calm the unrest. i surrender. "here i am down on my knees again, trying to find air to breathe again. and only surrender will help me now. i love you... please help me to see and believe again."

be my miracle worker.