Wednesday, December 29, 2010


a friend of mine said the other day that it's not right that Brian's not here.

she's right. it's not.

i have been saddened this holiday more times than i can count about how it's just not right. he's missing out on watching his son play trains and his girls twirling in their new skirts. they are missing out on storytimes with him.... just ask them about Eunice the Unicorn. her story needs another chapter.

unfortunately, his story on earth ended.

but, you know, God knows why.

hopefully, someday, i'll know fully why, too.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

what a day...

today was the annual boutique and luncheon at our church. i was asked to be a vendor, so i took the plunge and did it. what did i have to vend? well, i'll tell you. first off, i made a few quilts like the ones i made for my kids and k last year. to accompany the quilts, i shared this story:

The Story of My Father’s Heart Quilts

In September 2009, my husband Brian passed away. Being the mother of three young children, I wanted to give my children something that would be a physical symbol and memory of their daddy. I asked a friend if she would help me make a quilt out of my husband’s clothes, even though I had never even touched a sewing machine before. She said this was a bit ambitious to do by Christmas, but assured me that we could surely fashion something for the kids by way of a quilt. I made four of these quilts last Christmas -- one for each child and then one for a friend who helped me immensely after Brian’s death. On each child’s quilt, I cut out a heart from 3 different shirts of Brian’s – one for each of them. My brother’s girlfriend digitized my husband’s handwriting and embroidered a special message on the back of the panel containing the heart. And thus My Father’s Heart Quilts was born.

I love making these quilts and do so with care and creativity, making sure that each is unique, just as God made each of us unique. Each one is a Big Hug and the heart is a symbol of God’s love for us as the Ultimate Daddy.

well, dear friends, what an incredible day. my friend, M, absolutely fell in love with one of these quilts.i cannot tell you how much joy and fullness i feel in my heart at this moment. why? i am absolutely thrilled that she loved the quilt so much, as i believe God had me make it with love just for her. it was one i knew would go to someone very special and deserving; i can see that it 'fit' her perfectly.

the thought just came to mind that i should tell about it's creation [God's prompting perhaps?]. every time i would go to the store or online and see a fabric i liked i would buy some. my mentor told me that this was a good practice if i was going to do this, as often times good fabrics don't stick around. anyway, as i was planning to come to today's boutique, i wanted to make a quilt out of material i already had -- not to buy more. so i dug around in my stash, as they say, and pieced together that work of art. i guess it's how God made us and/or community -- lots of different pieces that are out of place on their own, but a thing of beauty when put together :)

oh, how i look forward to hearing her stories from the telling of mine and the new stories that will unfold for her just from having it :)

the other thing i was there to vend was Scentsy. yup, that's right, i decided to become a Scentsy consultant... i tend to be very sensory, so along with touch [my quilts], i enjoy smells very much. a smell for me can bring back a memory so quick... it's amazing. in fact, i am recalling my post office experience when i smelled Brian's cologne on someone else and i immediately started to cry. deep breath in -- release. aaahhh. the tears don't flow so easily now as they first did, but sometimes...

anyway, i am proud of myself for taking the plunge and doing that boutique today. scary considering what God may want me to do... um, no. he wants me to do it. there's no maybe in that equation. but you'll just have to find out in my next post..

hey -- will someone out there keep me accountable to writing more often that i have been? oh, how i need to do it. thanks!