another sad thing today is that 2 very dear families to me are walking a treacherous path. divorce seems extremely possible for both and this saddens me greatly. the men in these families are making poor choices and frankly, if a married man leaves his wife to be with another woman, the other woman should say, "hell, no!" to any of that because he has shown himself to be unfaithful in the first and most important place... in marriage! [jesse james and sandra bullock are coming to mind about now].
so my heart is heavy and i am feeling a bit verklempt as i write this.
SOAPBOX [if you don't wanna hear it, don't read it]:
gentlemen: step up and take responsibility. if you have the Holy Spirit within you, then call upon his name and ask for some help! you can only change yourself and you need to be the best man you can be for the sake of your family. get into the Word, stand strong, get accountability and make positive changes in your life for the betterment of yourself. and you know what? you will see changes in your wife! your kids! your friends! and they will be good changes.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself
ladies: unfortunately, it does take two to tango. if you are blaming your husband for all wrongdoing... stop. take a look at yourself first. we all contribute something, even if it's sarcasm, bitterness, bad attitude or indifference. it sucks and it's hard but it's the only way YOU can make a positive change, too. we like pointing fingers and blame, blame, blame [it's been that way with women from the beginning -- read Genesis 3! nothing but "the blame game" going on.] ladies, you too need to get into the Word, get on your knees [daily!], get accountability and make positive changes in your life for the betterment of yourself. and you know what? you too will see changes in your family! and i think you will like what you see.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything....the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:22-24, 33b
the American family must be preserved and the Enemy is aiming for the men, the women not far behind. since Brian's passing this has come to the forefront of my mind as i watched Brian's struggle and now watch the struggles of other men against many vices. i was a woman of control, sarcasm, indifference at times, blame and bitterness. God showed me a higher road. i made choices, many of which were difficult, but i had to stop blaming. and honestly, Brian became stronger in many moments because of those choices to take care of my own sickness instead of his. we must all turn from our vices and embrace the virtues, especially in marriage, such a delicate balance: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
and only with God's help can we do it.