Avery's birthday - 28 October 2009

my baby girl is 7... yup, 7! i can't believe it.... seems like not that long ago i was turning around in our kitchen ready to go get a classic b/w film for Brian and i to watch and my water broke. 7 hours later, i had a sweet replica of myself in my arms full of Brian's personality. what a girl. i love her dearly. she has heart, courage, sensitivity, need, want and a heart for Jesus so big that it can't stay within her. it shows.

today, a dear friend threw her the best doggie themed party any little girl could hope for. pin the nose on the dog, a huckleberry hound treasure hunt, a pinata as big as every kid there, dogs on the cake, paws and bones on the windows and tables.... even hot dogs for lunch! most of our homeschool park day friends came and wow... Av had a blast hanging with them and letting the whole day be for her.

after the party we went out to dinner at Islands with the folks and had fish tacos, a birthday tradition for Av. every year, Brian made his special fish tacos just for her because she loves them. i will tell you that these tacos do not hold a candle to Brian's... really, this just seems like a reflection of the fact that he is not here to celebrate with us. it makes my heart so sad and heavy. little things like this seem so much bigger now. he was meticulous as to how the batter tasted and how creamy and flavorful the sauce was and that the right undertones were in the salsa. now, those things are lost. well, maybe not totally lost but just not the same as we carry them out.

admittedly there was and undertone of sadness to the day, especially since Av didn't see any bees -- a symbol of Brian's presence with us. but i saw one. it flew out of the tree toward me, but then the strong winds we were having blew him away. Thank you, God, for that singular bee. like i said before, little things seem so much bigger now in our Life After.