John 11:35

the verse i reference here is one of the most famous verses in the Bible. most people do not consider it to be terribly profound, but i do. so profound that it compelled me to read the circumstances surrounding it. i never knew, but now i do. i am writing about it today because this verse represents how i felt today [by now what would be yesterday].

*

Jesus wept.

the circumstances surrounding this verse are thus: Lazarus has become terribly ill and when Jesus hears of it, he proclaims that there will be glory to God through it. he does not go to Lazarus, whom he loves very much, but stays where he is, trusting in God the Father. finally when they do go to Jerusalem where Jesus is hated and where Lazarus is laid to rest, they are told that Lazarus has been dead four days in the tomb.

he speaks to Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus. both sisters tell Jesus that if he had been there, their brother would not have died. his response to each is different: to Martha he says: "your brother will rise again.... I am the resurrection and the life. he who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"
to Mary, as he sees her and her fellow Jews weeping and becomes deeply moved and troubled. he says, "where have you laid him?" as they take him to the tomb, he weeps.

most know the rest of the story. when he gets to the tomb, the fellow Jews - full of doubt - roll away the stone and Jesus calls Lazarus out. he comes, alive and well, still wearing grave clothes and goes on his way. after this event then, Jesus was plotted against to be killed.

this fascinates me. my Savior, who I call Lord, wept over the death of a man he loved. he grieved unashamedly with the family and his friends. my Jesus knows grief and he knows MY grief. he knows how i feel; and, in turn, i know a bit how he felt. wow.

today was a very difficult day. the hardest one yet [i think]. thoughts of Brian swirled about me. his voice on my phone telling me he loves me. his sweet smile beaming in photos. the reality of his death printed repeatedly on pieces of paper in front of me, bluntly tying up business matters. it was overwhelming and somewhat emotionally crippling to where i got very little accomplished, at least from the outside perspective. but the inner perspective is different. i allowed my emotions to come out... i cried in front of my kids... i took the girls to a grief group for kids... I wept. and i am beginning to understand the implications of those two words and how healthy the action can be more so in this Life After.

*Jesus Wept by James Tissot (1836-1902)