9 months

I am lying here in my bed alone.

Thinking about the date, I realize my intense emotions about June 9. If Brian were still alive, we'd be halfway back to normal. Maybe. But no. Now it is the "new normal," as they say. A life void of one's companion. My longing for Brian and my sadness of losing him has been so deep and so intense these last few days that I cannot even begin to describe it, except that perhaps I feel it to the deepest parts of me. I want to talk to him, touch him, hold him tight. But I cannot. He is not there.

Hello loneliness.

Hello emptiness.

Hello grief.

I think I'm going to cry.... yup, I am.

9 months. It feels like no time has passed, but yet an eternity. OH HOW I WISH YOU WERE HERE! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO? I miss you!