13 years ago today...

...brian proposed marriage to me. have you heard the story? i have never actually written it down before so perhaps today is a good day to do so. i relish the sweet memories of my love...

in 2006, there was a couple in our ministry at the time who had recently begun dating. at a retreat we had had, they announced that they were getting married the coming friday night. what?!?!? this upset me greatly because here we were, a solid couple dating for almost 4 years, and there was yet to be a ring or anything for us to be married. we had talked about it quite a bit and had indeed committed to each other the we each were "the one" and i had accomplished all i had wanted to up to that point prior to marriage save one thing -- living on my own.

well, this couple had been unstable, arguing, together one day, breaking up the next and so on. i thought, "how can a couple like this get married?" i was sad, torn perplexed, yet i accepted it.

that week was crazy. brian was busy prepping for the wedding, as he was the best man after all, and i had parent/teacher conferences at the middle school where i worked on thursday and friday. on thursday night, brian had come over to my house all stressed out and we got into an argument because i didn't see why he was the one that had to do all the work for this wedding. the bride and groom should have been carrying on! ugh. i also told him that i wouldn't be able to be at the wedding until 6:30p because i was driving from orange county in friday night traffic. he was not pleased, as he thought i should at least be there to support him.

looking back, this was all so funny!

anyway, the night of the wedding, i show up and he is dressed in a tux that's a bit too small [he said that everyone had to borrow or buy from thrift stores because they couldn't afford to rent]. he's sweating because he is stressed out and things are chaotic in preparation.

i greet the people i know and sit down in the second row behind where the groom's parents should have been. [note: should have been]. i was told that their infant son was ill so they wouldn't be making it for the wedding. again... what?!?!? i just couldn't believe it... "see, they shouldn't be getting married. the groom's parents aren't even coming!" so i move up to the front row and sit next to the pastor's wife, kelly [yes, he was really a pastor -- our friend dennis. we had connections... brian was working for newsong at the time. this whole thing was staged in the back office!]

the wedding starts. the groom, pastor and the best man are sweating. the bride walks down the aisle. i see a white lacy prom dress from the 80's and bare feet. yet again... what?!?!? okay, heidi, get a grip! someone caught a picture of me at this point and, well, my face showed exactly what i was thinking at the time.

the bride finally makes it to the front and it begins. dennis begins recounting the groom's life... wow, he really has a similar past to brian. i had no idea.

then he recounts the bride's life... i turn to kelly, "hey, he's talking about me. why is he talking about me?!?" i listen quietly and aghast, not wanting to interrupt, with my chin gently resting on the floor. i am questioning so much, but only in my mind. [i still don't know why i didn't say something...?] dennis proceeds and asks for the ring. brian, being the best man, hands him the ring in a black velvet box. dennis briefly shares the significance of the ring and then gives the ring in box to the groom.

groom:"that's not my ring. that's not my ring!"
dennis: "it's not your ring? (pause, turning to brian) brian, whose ring is this?"
brian: "it's mine."

he comes over to me in the front row where i am sitting. i say, "are you kidding me?" over and over again. he gets down on one knee and says, "heidi, i love you. i want to spend the rest of my life with you. will you marry me?"

with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face, i said, "YES!"

at that point, after he places a most beautiful ring on my finger, he turns me around to face the doors at the back of the building and in come 75 of our closest family and friends to celebrate our engagement! everyone kept it a secret from me.... everyone! i couldn't believe it.

after greetings, photos and food [he had everyone bring a dish to share for a potluck], he whisked me off to puddingstone hot tubs, where he had reserved our own hilltop spot to reminisce, dream and plan for our wedding and our future away from the crowds we had been surrounded by. yummy hazelnut chocolate seashells, strawberries and champagne. candlelight and a view. so romantic.

he was really amazing that way.

he really knew how to sweep a girl off her feet -- really.

he had always said to himself that there would be two things to be sure of about our engagement: 1/ i would never know it was coming and 2/ i would say, "yes."

and he was right. i had no idea. and i said yes.

and the rest is, well, Life After ;)