"Never look back unless you are going that way..." --Thoreau

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"But sometimes when you look back, just at the top of the hill, before it all slips behind, a memory, that’s when you see how the trees blazed and how you were all living right under the whole, spreading sky, right there under heaven, and you never wholly knew it until right then, till you try to wave your hand goodbye." --av

i can look back and reminisce but i can never go back and relive. i now must face forward and walk. learn from my history, appreciate it and go on.

this Sunday marks 3 years. 

3. years.

i can hardly fathom it. in some ways it seems like forever ago. in others, but a moment. my God has filled in the spaces.

we are all sensitive with the time. irritability itches. anger flares. tears well up. 

we all know what's coming.

what makes it harder is the loss we suffered just 2 weeks ago. B's mom's husband. G-pa went to be with Jesus.... really. he accepted Christ literally moments before he turned into sleep before cancer wrote the check and cashed it in. the angels lifted him to heaven.

and guess who was there to greet him.

B.

now we mourn the loss of two dear to my children at such a tender time.

my sweet B -- 

if only we could embrace once more. 

feel the moisture of our lips touching tenderly one more time. 

your arms around me, tears spilling upon each of us as a baptism of deep love. 

to wave goodbye.

i am under heaven but you are in it.

i love you....

H's